Spiritual Practices 101

Spiritual Practices: Community

Thu, 29 Feb 2024 15:33:00 GMT

The other day my husband came in after participating in his new exercise
regime and said, “Is it ever hard for you to start exercising?”

I replied, “Every single time. But I’m always glad afterward that I did.
And that’s one of the reasons I love going to exercise classes; because it adds
the element of other people to meet for exercise and the accountability of
being with an instructor.”

One of the devastating effects of the pandemic has been the loss of in-person
gatherings. Now people are starting to come back, but there is still a
tentativeness about gathering. We lose something very important when we are
isolated from others.

As a therapist who recently started seeing clients again, I’ve noticed
this reluctance, especially among the old and the young.

For instance, I have several people in their twenties and early thirties
(the young) who tell me they have no friends. They have family and one
significant other, but not outside friends, and they don’t know how to find
friends. Or they don’t have time or energy to do so. When I suggest finding
interest groups like book clubs, hiking groups, church, art classes…they just
shrug.

We can’t expect one person to be our everything. It puts too much
pressure on that relationship, which at some point will implode from that kind
of pressure. We were never meant to ask one person to be all that we need. We
were created to be in community. It takes a village, as they say, to live a
full and healthy life.

It has become very popular on social media to insist that it’s not only
okay, but good, to stay home, curled up with a book. Heaven, forbid we answer
the door, or the phone, or leave the house. It has me quite concerned.

Who will encourage us when we are down, call us on our bad choices, or
visit us in the hospital? We need people to do life with, to help us grow.

Here are some thoughts about friendship from my new book mentor John
O’Donohue:

“A friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free
the wild possibilities within you.”

“When you send that love
out from the bountifulness of your own love, it reaches other people. This love
is the deepest power of prayer.”

“In the kingdom of love
there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love
you give away, the more love you will have.”

“One of the great obstacles
to modern friendships is the ‘religion of rush.’ People are rushing all the
time, through time. Friendship takes time.”

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of
encouragement.”

“The more love you give
away, the more love you will have.”

“One of the deepest longings of the human soul is to be seen.”

— John O’Donohue, ‘Anam Cara’.

I’d love to hear how you are finding friends in this
post-pandemic world and what friendships mean to you.

Photo at top by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Photo of woman by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

Photo of women by Adrienn on Pexels.com

Spiritual Practice: Caring for Pets

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 20:49:00 GMT

The world is stressful. I think we can all agree that things are bad and not getting better anytime soon. But you know what’s not stressful? Petting a dog or a cat. Talking to a parrot or watching a beautiful fish swim in a tank. In fact, petting an animal can lower cortisol levels in the brain causing a person to relax.

Let me tell you about Rosie, our beloved Borador (the humane society says she is part lab and part border collie). When my husband or I are sad, Rosie is right there, putting her head in our lap to comfort us. She takes us out of the house to walk. She barks when someone comes to our door to alert us. And despite weighing ninety pounds, she loves to be on the couch smooshed between and on top of us. Our world would be less happy without Rosie.

Statistics about depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation show that since the pandemic these three are on a definite upswing. Part of the issue is the increased isolation for people during and after the pandemic. But those with pets seem to fare better.

So, how is caring for an animal a spiritual practice? I don’t believe animals are gods. But I do believe everything God created is good and we can learn from and connect with it in a way that benefits our soul. We can love and care for pets in a way that helps us love and care for others.

In the words of the hymn by Cecil Frances Alexander:

I’d love to hear your pet stories. How has caring for your animal friends been a blessing to you?

Spiritual Practice: Seeing People

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 20:53:00 GMT

One of the reasons I love yoga is because it causes the monkeys in my brain to stop their pillow fight and settle down. It is one of the few places where I can live in the present moment (most of the time). This is because the yoga positions are difficult to hold, and you must be in the moment to sustain them. It’s a fantastic way to connect the mind and body.

But recently, I had a day when the monkeys in my head would not quiet at yoga. Let me tell you what happened.

That morning I had my day carefully planned. I got up early to curl my hair so it would look good for a later interview. I would take my granddaughter to school at nine, go to my Pilates class at 9:30, and my yoga class at 10:30, and then get home at 11:45 in time to switch my shirt and apply some makeup to be on a live TV show via Zoom at noon.

While driving my granddaughter to school, I had this terrible thought. What if the TV show was on Eastern Time, not Pacific Time as I had assumed? That would make it start at 9:00 and not noon. As I was driving home (thankfully the school is near my house) I got an email that said, are you coming? I was supposed to be there five minutes before the show started, to pray with the host.

I did the interview wearing my workout shirt and no makeup, but the host was incredibly warm and caring. It was a fun interview.

But afterward, I couldn’t stop thinking about being late; what if I had missed the live show? The host had read my book and everything. She had great questions and spoke highly of my book. What if I had let her down?

I missed my Pilates class but made it to yoga, but my adrenaline was spiked high. I could not let go of obsessing about what had happened. The monkeys were having a full-out fistfight.

About half an hour into the class, the door opened, and someone brought in an older lady who said she wanted to observe the class and see if it was something she could do. A classmate grabbed a chair for her, and the class went on.

Suddenly, I forgot all about my near-tragic morning and thought only of the lady. Would she take the class? Would she be able to make the moves? Would she be able to join our little group?

And then I realized what had happened. When I took my eyes off myself, and put them on another person, I was able to let go of my incessant rumination. Suddenly, I could focus on something else, and by the end of the class, my mind had stilled.

People always talk about that, don’t they? They say if you’re grieving, depressed, anxious, or lonely, you should reach out to someone else. Get your mind off of yourself. I experienced it that day. Thinking of someone else, caring for them, and listening to them makes it impossible to be self-focused. It is a beautiful thing for them and you.

I have friends who have lost their spouses and found joy in serving others. They volunteer at soup kitchens and dog shelters. They visit shut-ins and read to children. These people have found the key to healing their loss by seeing others.

How do you see others? I’d love to hear how you take your eyes off of yourself and on to something more productive. How do you unstick your mind from negative rumination?

I’ll link the interview here so you can see how it went!